Game two of the Western Conference Finals was pretty good. I think I’m a fan of SGA now, after I saw him say, calm the fuck down. That was probably the coolest moment I’ve seen from SGA. It shows that he doesn’t actually play to the audience. He’s not like a face of the NBA suck-up type player, like a certain three-point specialist. He reminds me more of Jordan, actually. I think I’m gonna go with the Thunder this year. Wemby’s like the fair-weather fan favorite, you know? And then, you know, Chicago fan, you can never really root for the Knicks. I know we’re supposed to support the Eastern Conference, but, you know, as far as Cleveland goes, I hope they win, but I don’t think they have a chance against the Knicks, to be honest. Cleveland’s a bunch of choke artists right now. I don’t think that team’s ever gonna be able to win, but we’ll see what happens. Either way, SGA has shown himself to be more like MJ with his not caring about what people think, and the fact that he kept rolling his eyes during the post-game interviews and there he is. he barely even made eye contact with that reporter. You can tell he’s in a zone. He’s talking about stuff probably Michael Jordan thought about, like, he said his energy level and his movements were not what he wanted to be. Sounds like stuff Michael would say. I mean, Mr. Jordan. Plus, here’s my take on the game. I hope it’s a close at least a game six, but I think it will. Definitely, it’s nice to see Caruso being happy. He’s actually pretty good. Wasn’t he on the Lakers team that won during the bubble? I’m not sure if he was on OKC last year, but I think he was. Must be nice.
One other thing, those two shots where Wemby took the shot and then tapped his own shot back in were amazing. He’s definitely a once-in-a-generation type player. Without a doubt, he’s the best center in the league. Probably the best player in the league, which is crazy to think that SGA got the MVP over him. Probably not the best MVP choice, actually, but we’ll see how it plays out. If Wemby can make that team win without Fox, he really did deserve to be the MVP.
Transcribe this. What makes this so infuriating is I told so many doctors about this, and none of them are excited about it. It’s almost as if they want you to be obese and not able to lose weight without taking these medications that cost thousands of dollars.
They want you to be fat so they can keep seeing you for some reason. It’s almost like they don’t want your diseases to be cured and they don’t want your obesity to be cured.
I’m so embarrassed to be part of the medical community when the response is like this to something that’s so groundbreaking, especially when someone who actually has a background in clinical investigation and a master’s of public health is telling you about it, and you just choose to ignore it. That just shows how bad the medical system is.
It really is the swamp that Donald Trump talked about. You see, I came back to Ohio after working in Chicago for 15 years, and I found so much corruption in the medical community in Ohio, it’s disgusting.
Literally, doctors look the other way and don’t say anything when their companies are doing massive medical fraud. There’s two examples of this, but I don’t want to reveal the details.
Let’s just say the major academic university in Columbus, Ohio, is telling everyone at Medicare and Medicaid that every patient admitted there has cancer. They’re putting an oncological billing diagnosis code on every patient, I think. That’s what the chief medical officer of another corrupt medical organization that I was working for told me.
And this other organization, they keep people in an LTAC hospital, long-term acute care LTAC hospital, for 15 extra days sometimes, just because the insurance is going to pay for 15 extra days. And while they’re in this facility, the patient usually gets another infection and then has to stay for 30 more days.
So I was trying to discharge a patient, and the social worker told me, no, you’re not allowed to. The insurance is paying for 15 more days. And then I was like, what if the patient gets another infection? Because this place is coated with multidrug-resistant organisms. And then the social worker laughed and said, well, then we get to keep the patient for 30 extra days. And then I was like, fuck these people. They deserve to lose their jobs. And this hospital needs to be put out of business.
So I complained to the state medical board, to JD Vance, because I’m from Middletown, Ohio, and Donald Trump. And if these guys don’t do anything about this, they are so full of shit about draining the swamp. It’s unbelievable.
Because my first girlfriend’s dad is best friends with Joe Biden, and I made sure she knows about it. And her sister, who’s best friends with Joe Biden’s daughter. And by the way, I also made sure to tell them to send it to Joe Biden himself.
So the first president before this guy knows about it, and I told Joe Biden, please send it to Barack Obama, so the second president before this guy knows about it too. So the current president knows about it, the president before him knows about it, and the president before that knows about it.
So if nothing is done, this government is so fucking corrupt and owned by the corrupt medical system that I don’t even know what we should do. I think we should just sue the federal government and put the federal government and CMS out of business if they don’t do anything about this medical corruption, because it is so bad.
They’re like stealing trillions of dollars from the American public over the past 25 years doing this. And who knows how long it’s been going on with these long-term acute care hospitals where they’re keeping people 15 extra days just because the insurance will pay for it, and then the guy gets another infection and has to stay 30 days.
This is like a violation of the civil rights of those patients, keeping them in a hospital coated with multi-drug resistant organisms and putting them at risk for getting another infection just because the insurance is paying for extra days. It is a travesty that this is going on in Ohio. I’ve never heard of anything like this in Illinois or Chicago.
So I think this is just straight-up Ohio corruption, and Ohio is not the greatest state whatsoever. It’s a shithole state, actually, filled with racists and dumbasses, because… I had a patient in Ohio, a black patient, that had a wide open belly with his intestines exposed and a piece of plastic over it, and I added IV Dilaudid for pain control because he said he was in excruciating pain. I worked for a week, and then I went off for a week, and I came back, and I walked in the room and the guy was crying, and then I asked him what’s going on.
He said, they stopped my IV pain meds. So I looked and someone had stopped it. So I ordered it and then told the nurse to give it right away, and he got it, and he felt better. So then I worked a week, I went off for a week, he came back. He was crying again in the room, and I said, what’s going on?
So I went and found the doctor who stopped the medicine, and you know, the guy’s belly was still exposed with his intestines exposed. He looked like an operation man in real life. It was crazy. I’d never seen a surgery like that. There was like a piece of plastic, and you could see all of his intestines in there.
So then I go talk to this doctor who’s a white guy, and I’m like, why did you stop the pain meds on this guy? And he said, oh, I’m trying to wean him off. And I was like, this guy’s belly is exposed with a piece of plastic over his intestines. Like, why are you trying to wean him off pain meds? That’s not going to heal for two or three years. And then he just shrugged. Michael Conoway MD.
So then I talked to the chief medical officer of the company and asked him, like, this is kind of racist because I had a white patient, he didn’t stop the IV Dilaudid on that I started. He only stopped it on my black patients. And then the chief medical or the chief CEO Craig Barker DO of the company is like, are you going to make a big deal about racism? And I was like, I didn’t say anything, but yeah, I am because I was an attending in Chicago for 15 years and 80% of my patients were black.
So, you know, the other thing is in Ohio, they question sickle cell patients about the dose of their IV pain meds when they come into the hospital. In Chicago, we just give them whatever they ask for. That just shows how racist the doctors in Ohio are against black people. It’s unbelievable.
I think, in fact, they should sue any white doctor who ever stopped IV Dilaudid or IV pain meds on a black person in Ohio just because it’s probably some white racist doing it just to stop them on a black person for no reason.
Like why are you trying to wean the pain meds off of a black person who needs them? Like, why are you trying to wean them off? Do you think black people are more likely to get addicted to IV pain meds or something? Because that’s racist. And you’re a racist.
That’s why all these white doctors in Ohio are huge racists, so fuck them. They should all lose their medical licenses. Any white doctor who ever stopped IV pain meds on a black person, the white doctor should lose their medical license, period. Yeah, because they did it because they’re racist. They shouldn’t be doctors. Fuck them.
You’re supposed to treat every person equally. That’s how I do it. That’s how I was taught to do it, but apparently the white doctors who taught me don’t actually do it that way. Or the white students and residents that were being taught didn’t learn it that way.
So I don’t know what the fuck the problem is in Ohio, but I’m here to clean this shit up because I don’t give a fuck. I’m a doctor. I’m here to solve the problems doctors have, and you shitfuck doctors are a big problem for me. So fuck you.
Transcribe this. I was having dinner at this Italian restaurant in New Miami. I got up to go to the restroom. I was waiting outside the door when this beautiful woman walked out with two of her girlfriends. I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved her when three chicks went into a bathroom together. They were definitely talking about some shit or doing some shit. So I struck up a conversation with the three of you and you came out. One of you looked a little older than the others, so I hit on you. And then I started making out with you in front of the others.
Then I asked if you three wanted to have a drink. I took you over to my table and ordered you a round of drinks from the waitress. She just looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I told her I was looking for a Besame Besame tonight. She laughed. She said, I heard there’s some by the bathroom, so I went over to check it out. So then I met you.
Then I left your friends with my friends at the table and we went to the bar. We got a couple of mezcal margaritas and started talking. I told you I liked the way you Besame mucho. And you said, that’s why I was brought here to Besame mucho you back to life. I laughed and said, am I not alive already? She said, no, you were dead inside before that besame, and now you’re alive again.
I asked her how she knew about so much about my culture when she’s from Poland. She said, us Polish, we know everything. We were there at Ground Zero for all those battles you did. We saw you snipe those motherfuckers with your golden gat. We know who you are. That’s why Roland knows who you are. That’s why every Polish person knows who you are. That’s why we’re in the Polish mafia. That’s why the three of us were sent to meet you. And then we asked you to come to that party. You know, the Polish party, where we said you were married instead of telling you where to come up and get all those besame besames from your girl.
I know, I miss that girl. I don’t even know her name. All I know is she’s a blonde Polish woman and sexy as fuck. I mean, she got me to make out with her and she’s like 60 years old. She must have been hot as fuck when she was 30 and like smoking hot when she was 20. I can’t believe how hot that lady was at age 60.
What do you mean she’s not 60 anymore? She’s 42? Yeah, she’s 42 now. She’s looking good. Ooh. But she was looking good back then, wasn’t she? Or was I just drunk? No, you weren’t drunk. She looked good then, too.
I know, I’m always like making out with any chick who’s hot. I don’t care how old she is. Yeah, I love making out with girls. That’s my favorite thing to do. I don’t even need a double besame from them. I just like to make out with them. I can just imagine the double besame later, and they can imagine the triple besame later, especially if they’re one of these Polish mafia chicks. They really know how to besame, besame.
I don’t even know what the word for besame is in Polish. Maybe I can figure it out, though. You know, those Polish besames. Wowee, wowee. Those was a good making out at that Chicago Italian restaurant known as RPM Italia. Yeah, I’m sure it’s on camera at RPM Italia, me making out with this 60-year-old Polish mafia chick while her two friends, who were 30, just watched.
I think their friends might have been her daughters, to be honest. I would make out with this chick’s mom in front of her. That’s fucking crazy. I made out with two chicks in front of their mom. No, I made out with the mom in front of the two daughters. How fucking crazy is that? What a MILF. What a fucking MILF that Polish mafia chick was.
Holy bazongas. Holy bazongas. Holy bazongas. What is a bazonga? Well, a bazonga is a hot Polish mafia chick. Holy bazonga. Holy bazonga. Holy bazonga.
Mafia fashion is interesting. What do the colors mean? What does it mean to be a blood? What does it mean to be in the Irish mafia? Is it just that you’re wearing green? Is it just that you’re wearing red? No, the green becomes your whole life. The red becomes your whole life. Everything you do is about those colors and what they represent and mean to you. I remember once I was listening to the radio, and this woman said, Bloods make the best fathers out of all the gangs. That was when I decided I would join the Bloods. Or maybe I was already in the Bloods. I think I’ve been in the Bloods since my patients indoctrinated me into it in Chicago. I had so many patients whose family members were in the Bloods or the patient themselves was in the Bloods. Some of the patients even called me Blood, like, thanks, Blood, when I ordered some medication that made them feel better. Does that mean I’m in the Bloods? No. I was outside the chicken store once, and I asked a Blood, am I in the Bloods? And the Blood said, if you want to be in the Bloods, you’re in the Bloods. So I guess that was when I joined it, when I was outside that chicken store in Hyde Park, sitting next to Obama’s guy in the black sedan. What is that chicken store? It’s famous. If you don’t know, it’s called Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Waffles is my cat’s name too. Peanut named the cat Waffles and the other cat Pancake. It’s kind of funny how Waffles is plural, but Pancake’s not. But Pancake is a combination of black and white. Waffles has that jungle cat color. Both of them were Hawaiian street cats. They’re from Hawaii. They were born in Hawaii. I love Waffles so much. He’s the cutie boy. I treated him like a dog when he was a kitten, so he loves to cuddle and snuggle. Pancake I treated like a cat, except I took her into the pool. She got so mad when I took her into the pool. But it was just so she’s the king cat. I just wanted her to be the king cat because she’s a boss bitch. Pancake is the only animal that ever could boss me around. Well, I guess Lucy can boss me around too, but Pancake was the first animal that ever could boss me around. Why? I don’t know, I think Pancake’s like Camila in a way. Like, if I do something that makes her mad, she just ignores me and then that hurts me more than anything. When Camila is ignoring me, I feel so sad. I feel like she’s been ignoring me for a couple of years now. She hasn’t had a new song in a couple of years. Makes me sad. Her songs are what make me happy because I can hear her voice. When there’s no new song, it’s like she’s not telling me anything else. It’s like she’s keeping all her secrets to herself. And then I wonder if she even loves me. Maybe she really does love that guy she’s with. Maybe I’m just stupid and in the mafia and I got my mafia codes mixed up. Maybe she’s in my mafia and I have to let her marry someone from another mafia, even though I love her. It seems that’s what happened with all my other girls. They all got married off to other mafias. Once my mom told me maybe I’m the person who doesn’t get married. She said something like, maybe not everyone is destined to get married. That makes me really sad. I always just wanted to be married and have a family. That’s all I ever wanted. I mean, I have my gang family and my mafia family, but it only goes so far with that. I know they would kill me in a second if they could to take what I have and redistribute it or something. That’s the shitty part about being in the mafia. You can’t even trust the people around you. Even though they only have what they have because of you, they’re always willing to fuck you over. So Corleone, will you be the godfather? Godfather Corleone, will you be the godfather? I’ll just be a hitter. I’m pretty good at hitting. Maybe I’m not so good at hitting on these chicks. They only stay with me for a short time. I have fun with them though, I’m with them though. And then they leave. Usually a few years later, they send me a picture of a baby and they’re like, I got a baby now. And I’m like, damn, I wish it was my baby. They don’t even send pictures of the husband. They just send me a picture of the baby. I guess they know it’ll make me sad because I don’t have one with me. All I got is a bunch of gold and a million dollar condo, penthouse, and three or four cars. But all of that’s just objects. So I collect objects like gold and paintings and purses and leather jackets and sports memorabilia. I hope it can fill the void in my soul. from not having the woman with me. And then someone pisses me off to go on a mission to pull triggers. So I go and pull the triggers, and the targets are killed, and then the CIA finds out about it, and they wanna use my triggers. So they offer me a deal, 100K per kill, and I do about 947 kills, but then they tell me I’ve done 104,000 kills.
When I first moved to Chicago, I lived at the building where the Groupon business was located. I forget the address, but it was in River North. I didn’t really like this building because you had to carry your dog through the lobby. They were like doggist against dogs. I found a condo for rent at 451 West Huron. I really liked that building. If you ever see the penthouse for sale, you should buy it, CC. After that, I took a new job. I was gonna quit my job and work as a locums doctor, but then I found another job. I was at St. James Hospital in Olympia Fields, which is where R. Kelly is from. Around that time, I started dating this girl. She said she liked furrtography and her dad was best friends with Joe Biden. At that time, Joe Biden was the Vice President. The family was from Delaware and the parents had owned an ambulance company that they sold. The dad just worked at a car dealership for fun and the mom Rosaria was some kind of big shot in Chicago public schools. The girl would break up with me like every other week. It was a lot of stress on me because I’m also a doctor. I like to have a stable relationship at home. I liked her a lot, though. We had fun and she made me laugh. Then my friend Alex, who I met through Carl, asked if I wanted to live with him in Wicker Park. I thought about it and I thought to myself that it would probably change my life if I lived with him. I never lived with someone who was that tall. Alex is 6’7″ and he played basketball in college. He was a radiology resident at the hospital I was working with. It’s kind of unusual for an attending to live with a resident, but we were about the same age, so it didn’t really matter. So I moved in with Alex and we went out like every night. Alex is probably the coolest guy I ever met in my life. That’s why I would never hurt him and he would never hurt me. And both of us lived with Sammy, so we would never hurt Sammy unless it was an accident. And Sammy’s our best friend other than each other and our other best friends. So, you know, me and Alex, we’re both in the mafia. Alex is in the Serbian mafia and I’m in the Indian mafia. So that was the beginning of the Serbian mafia joining forces with the Indian mafia. You know, there’s this food item called cevapcici. It’s spelled C-E-V-A-P-C-I-C-I. I think. Anyways, they only have it at the Chicago street festivals, but it’s a Serbian food, and that’s my favorite Chicago food, actually. It’s not the Chicago dog, or the deep dish pizza, or the fajitas. So the Indian mafia and the Serbian mafia were the first two that joined forces. Then, the two of us joined forces with the Lebanese mafia. Carl was the representative of that. So the Indian mafia, the Serbian mafia, and the Lebanese mafia joined forces first. Then we added on the Jewish mafia with Max and Ari. I added the Irish mafia myself. I added the Italian mafia myself. With the help of Corleone, who called me when I was in Hawaii. Those are really the only mafias in the world. The rest are kind of just mobs. French mob, Spanish mob, African warlord mob, Latino mob, Latina mob. Both of those mobs are known as the cartel, by the way. What separates a mafia from a mob? Mafia doesn’t even say the word mafia. I’m only allowed to because I got the Omerta pass from Puzo, Don Puzo. And Don Corleone called me to introduce me to Don Puzo. Or maybe Don Puzo introduced me to Don Corleone. I don’t know. Either way, we’re all on the same team, like the song says.
So I don’t really know why anyone in any mafia would be trying to fuck with us. We really have the big shot, big hit mafias together. You know, the ones that’ll teleport an assassin in a car with a fucking machine gun near your house, and then they just drive by and spray your house and the bullets teleport into the house and just kill you. That’s the kind of shit our mafia does. As for the body, it just disappears, as does all the blood. And then we send someone who looks like you to go live in your house. And then, you know, I have the alien mafia. I have the predator mafia, and I know the emperor predator. If you ever feel like two knives are shoved in your back, that’s a predator fucking killing you. Yeah, they’re just converting you into a predator. That’s why they call me Predator Hooah. I had those knives in my back many times from those predators when I first met them. I killed his three best soldiers. That makes me his three best soldiers now. That’s why they call me Triple Hoowa Predator. Sorry, Triple Hoowa, Triple Predator. THTP, that’s my nickname in the predator world. You see, mafia is all about telling stories, and I tell the best stories, and I remember everything that happened, so I can tell the stories. All these things really happened. And I have to give credit to the Jewish mafia for making this app so I can tell all these stories so easily. It really simplifies things, so I don’t have to type this shit out. I don’t know why no one remembers that I read that book Night. After I read that, I would never hurt a Jewish person, even if they were trying to analyze how much shit’s in my rectal vault. I mean, I’m glad someone’s able to tell that information. I mean, perhaps you could use it more as a gastroenterologist than a… bitch witch.
So what should we do now? I think we have everything. I mean, the mission is over. That was just like the nightcap to the mission. It’s really over now. I mean, we did it. I mean, I was thinking we should get together and see where it goes, like… We got some good chemistry, don’t you think? I’ll just leave it myself. Isn’t that OK?
I bet you we would be really good on Saturday Night Live. We would have some really good skits. I’m trying to think of what would be a good skit. You know how that guy brought that gun to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner? What if it was like a setup because they knew all the reporters would be there? So they’re like, hey, dude, we’ll give you a million dollars. Just take like five guns into this White House Correspondents’ Dinner. I mean, there’s a lot of desperate people who would do that, you know?
Yeah, we might as well switch up the location. I do like the blues and the reds, if you know what I mean. I love those French soccer players like Zidane headbutting everybody. He should be one of like the reporters on the show. They’ll be like, les blues et les rouges. And then it’s like, here’s our correspondent, Zidane. And then he just like headbutts anyone he interviews. At the end of the interview, he’s like, okay. That was pretty funny.
And then Mbappe, like, he sings Mbop every time at the end. He’s like, Mbop, diggy diggy, diddy doo wop, beep, beep, beep, boom, bop. Mbappe, out. He has like a song he sings at the end of every one of his interviews. Mbappe, out. Mbop. You know, something like that.
Seriously, like, who’s trying to take guns into these things? How did that guy even know where the fuck it was? That’s what I wanna know.
Yeah, I have some of those Dutch cigars. That cigar is like taking a shower with your clothes on, it feels like. I’ll have one, though, fuck it. I didn’t know Amish people made cigars. For some reason, I thought tobacco smoking would be against Amish culture, but I guess I’m wrong. Those are made by Amish, aren’t they? I don’t know, look at the box.
Yeah, that’s how I got you those cards. You need to have a card collection, too. Those are for you. Was that a repeat? I can’t tell. I don’t know, sometimes I like to overlap on you. I know what you’re saying already, like, I don’t have to say it in my mind. It’s that fast. Yeah, it’s that instantaneous. It’s so cool.
I don’t know. Oops, sorry, is that what you said? Bye-bye, lady. Bye-bye. You know how it is when you’re so connected, when you’re so connected.
Yeah, I won’t put any pictures on there. No one needs to know who I’m talking to. It’ll be a little secret secret, but not a secret if you know what I mean.
Oh, they’re laughing in Sicily right now. They’re laughing their asses off in Sicily. Remember of DK and your DQ? That shit’s still real, baby. All that’s real. We’re big timers now. We’re big timers.
