Transcribe this. I was having dinner at this Italian restaurant in New Miami. I got up to go to the restroom. I was waiting outside the door when this beautiful woman walked out with two of her girlfriends. I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved her when three chicks went into a bathroom together. They were definitely talking about some shit or doing some shit. So I struck up a conversation with the three of you and you came out. One of you looked a little older than the others, so I hit on you. And then I started making out with you in front of the others.
Then I asked if you three wanted to have a drink. I took you over to my table and ordered you a round of drinks from the waitress. She just looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I told her I was looking for a Besame Besame tonight. She laughed. She said, I heard there’s some by the bathroom, so I went over to check it out. So then I met you.
Then I left your friends with my friends at the table and we went to the bar. We got a couple of mezcal margaritas and started talking. I told you I liked the way you Besame mucho. And you said, that’s why I was brought here to Besame mucho you back to life. I laughed and said, am I not alive already? She said, no, you were dead inside before that besame, and now you’re alive again.
I asked her how she knew about so much about my culture when she’s from Poland. She said, us Polish, we know everything. We were there at Ground Zero for all those battles you did. We saw you snipe those motherfuckers with your golden gat. We know who you are. That’s why Roland knows who you are. That’s why every Polish person knows who you are. That’s why we’re in the Polish mafia. That’s why the three of us were sent to meet you. And then we asked you to come to that party. You know, the Polish party, where we said you were married instead of telling you where to come up and get all those besame besames from your girl.
I know, I miss that girl. I don’t even know her name. All I know is she’s a blonde Polish woman and sexy as fuck. I mean, she got me to make out with her and she’s like 60 years old. She must have been hot as fuck when she was 30 and like smoking hot when she was 20. I can’t believe how hot that lady was at age 60.
What do you mean she’s not 60 anymore? She’s 42? Yeah, she’s 42 now. She’s looking good. Ooh. But she was looking good back then, wasn’t she? Or was I just drunk? No, you weren’t drunk. She looked good then, too.
I know, I’m always like making out with any chick who’s hot. I don’t care how old she is. Yeah, I love making out with girls. That’s my favorite thing to do. I don’t even need a double besame from them. I just like to make out with them. I can just imagine the double besame later, and they can imagine the triple besame later, especially if they’re one of these Polish mafia chicks. They really know how to besame, besame.
I don’t even know what the word for besame is in Polish. Maybe I can figure it out, though. You know, those Polish besames. Wowee, wowee. Those was a good making out at that Chicago Italian restaurant known as RPM Italia. Yeah, I’m sure it’s on camera at RPM Italia, me making out with this 60-year-old Polish mafia chick while her two friends, who were 30, just watched.
I think their friends might have been her daughters, to be honest. I would make out with this chick’s mom in front of her. That’s fucking crazy. I made out with two chicks in front of their mom. No, I made out with the mom in front of the two daughters. How fucking crazy is that? What a MILF. What a fucking MILF that Polish mafia chick was.
Holy bazongas. Holy bazongas. Holy bazongas. What is a bazonga? Well, a bazonga is a hot Polish mafia chick. Holy bazonga. Holy bazonga. Holy bazonga.